I’ve noticed throughout my life’s journey that one of the things people admire about me is my vulnerability and transparency. However, I’m here tonight to make a confession. I’m a big scaredy-cat! I’ve known all my life that God meant me for greatness, but it’s been my life long struggle to let my little light shine. I think this is the grand life lesson I’m put on this earth to show people.
Transparency and vulnerability have been so healing for me. Every time I share my trauma or challenges with insecurity, bullying, etc…I find that I’m met with an outpouring of messages from other women around the world saying they felt inspired. That inspiration being mirrored back to me gives me a sense of fulfillment and confidence that is difficult to grasp on a day-to-day basis. Wouldn’t you agree?
Making an impact in the world is something I think we all innately desire. We want to be remembered. As 2020 comes to a close, its just becoming more and more obvious to me that to breakthrough to the next level of healing, impact and abundance in my life that I get to show up big time. My challenge is to really play BIG and put myself out there, so I can continue to inspire you all to do the same.
Here are the TOP FIVE FEARS I must personally overcome in 2021 to take my life and business to the next level:
- Fear of Judgement: I can no longer be afraid that being seen in all my glory and imperfection will make me the brunt of ridicule, shame and abuse. Hurtful and hateful people will be that way regardless. I can let it make me stronger, or I can let it keep me from living a full and joyful life while impacting the people I desire to connect with – like you reading this.
- Fear of Singing & Speaking: Perhaps these fears all tie into the first one, but this one boggles my mind at times because I’m a card-carrying Extrovert, professionally trained vocalist and experienced public speaker. It’s always been my passion and people said I was good at it. But, I AM STILL SCARED. Then on top of that, with each trauma I’ve experienced, I felt more and more introverted; whether it was being bullied for my Lipedema legs, raped as a teenager, growing up in an authoritarian household, or going through a divorce where I felt unheard and unseen.
- Fear of Going Live/Video: Goodness gracious, this is a big one for some reason. I have no problem getting up in front of a room of 100s or thousands of people, but I get scared to go live in my own living room. Why is this? See Fear number one probably. With all of these, I think the more I do it, the easier it gets. At any rate, this one is going to help me turn this blog and everything else into a thriving business once I get over myself and just help people.
- Asking for Support and Hiring Help: Hello. My name is Crystal, and I’m a workaholic and perfectionist. I won’t put things out because they aren’t right, I still need to TEACH MYSELF how to do it (by IT, I mean EVERYTHING), or I procrastinate asking someone who KNOWS how to do it already to help me. Gee, there’s a thought. I’m getting overwhelmed just hearing myself talk about this! In my defense, I actually made some huge progress this year (on all of these). I hired support staff in my Public Relations business, and that same week, my business income doubled. I suppose the Universe/God was just waiting for me to get a clue and get out of my own way.
- Fear of Showing My Body/Legs: I know I don’t need to explain this one to YOU ladies. But for the sake of those who need a bit of encouragement, please know that anytime you see me post a photo of myself in a bathing suit or skimpy number….I’M DOING IT F’ING SCARED. The confidence comes after. The feeling of “screw it” is the courage part. The beautiful thing that also comes after is all the encouragement, compliments, and flirty messages from guys (who apparently have their boats floated by thick thighs, butts and legs. LOL) The positives FAR OUTWEIGH any of the hate I’ve randomly received from trolls. I guess maybe the fear never really goes away, but if I want to break through and grow my audience and impact – I know I get to show what my mama gave me!
Alright, there it is y’all. I’m a work in progress like all of you. This is the reason I created this blog in the first place. I created it so that I could have an outlet to share my journey and push myself out of my comfort zone. Thank you to EVERY ONE of you that have shown me that encouragement throughout the years. I’m done hiding, and I apologize, because I have so much more light, joy and inspiration to give you inside of me. You deserve it and in 2021, I’m going to give it to you!!! I hope you’re ready for all this lusciousness!